We had a discussion at the start about developing an inner resilience due to the struggles we face. I thought this was a lovely sentiment and something many people will find truth in. It can be hard to accept our struggles at times but they will make us stronger. I heard a lovely piece recently about how our wounds protect us, and I’d like to share it with you. When we hurt our body in any way, let’s say a broken ankle, we naturally protect that wound, as we want to avoid hurting it again. We might step more carefully, or, if we step funny, our old wound reminds us with a hint of pain to mind our ankle. The same goes for emotional or mental wounds. If someone has hurt us in the past, we will hold onto a little part of that trauma to avoid experiencing similar in the future. Some might say their wounds hold them back but with wounds and hurt comes resilience. Resilience isn’t just an ability to get through things, it’s an ability to look after ourselves and go easy on ourselves, too.
There is a perception that we have to be positive all the time, and sometimes people will say that we shouldn’t let anyone put us down. That is true. Yet positivity takes effort and you might have to work hard to achieve a positive attitude. Some days, we have to work harder at it than other times. Sometimes we have to feel hurt and annoyed, call a spade a spade, then try and get over it. As one member said, ‘Sometimes shit is the order of the day and it’s okay to feel this.’ Resilience can often be about accepting a feeling and either letting go of it or moving forward with it until you can let go.
Some members found that keeping busy was a great coping mechanism. Others said they can be positive during the day but then have a bad night where they are awake at 3 a.m. worrying. It’s important to remember that we’re all human and that resilience and positivity take work but are worth pursuing.